Blood In Memory
by Suz

Disclaimer - Yeah, Paramount.

Set in the universe last visited in Interference.


There is no blood on her skin.

There is no blood on her uniform.

There is no blood on the floor, no noise of it seeping into my shoes as I step forward, unheeding.

There is blood in my memory.

The Doctor has performed his last 'miracle' on her behalf - no one but I, him, and Commander Chakotay will ever know. I fear they will suspect, but they will never know.

She looks peaceful. It is an expression I do not recall observing on her face before.

Calm, relaxed; even healthy. I know which procedures the Doctor used, how he has created this 'miracle', but even so...I find myself surprised at how different she looks to the last time I saw her.

There is blood in my memory.

I knew she was unhappy. I thought she was determined. I thought she retained her original mentality; she would get this crew home at all costs. Personal, even professional.


Studying her now, even in death, I remember the pull I used to feel towards her. I can remember my confusion and my subsequent realisation as to what it had been only after the Doctor's lessons.

I am thankful that I did not realise sooner.

I am thankful that I know how to realise it now.

The ship will be run without her. The crew will work without her. She will be missed; that is all, and everything.

The part of me that is Annika Hansen will always wonder; who she was, who we were, what might have been.

The larger part of me that is Seven of Nine, tertiary adjunct of unimatrix zero one, believes it is better this way. Easier. Fewer complications.

Only I discover that assumption is incorrect.

I reactivate the stasis field. I leave sickbay. I find him in her quarters, sitting on the bed he has no doubt imagined copulating with her in many times.

The bed creaks slightly as I sit next to him, but I was already aware of that fact.

He speaks. "I didn't think she would do it. I didn't think she would have the courage."

"You have always believed that she was capable of doing astounding things."

"I never said that."

"There was no need."

Shaking his head, the Commander smiles. It is not a sad, resigned smile. It is not a passionate, leering smile. It is simply a smile; truthful. Honest. That has always been a fault of his.

"Seven, you know me entirely too well."

I raise my eyebrow simply because I know it amuses him. "I do not believe it is possible to know someone too well."

He mutters a few words I cannot identify before stretching out on her bed.

I study him silently. "You're thinking about her. You're wondering what it would have been like."

He simply closes his eyes. "So are you."

I do not argue. I can't.

Instead I move until I am lying next to him. I touch his face.

We copulate, there, on her bed.

Her ceiling is beige.

There is blood in my memory.


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