Lilwitchy made this kick ass fic cover - thanks, hon! *hugs*

Disclaimer - DC and WB own them, etc etc.

This was written for slodwick's A Picture Is Worth 1000 Words - 3rd Time's a Charm challenge. It had to be exactly 1000 words long, and prompted by the picture she provided.

This is rated NC-17, probably because I'm paranoid g. Clex, of course. Humour. Feedback would rock. Many, many thanks to nel. hugs

The prompt was the picture of three chairs that's part of the fic cover :D

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"Well," Clark said hopefully, "what do you think?"

There were a lot of things Lex was willing to do with Clark, but this was definitely unexpected. Eyeing the chair dubiously, he faked a smile and decided it was a true sign of his love and dedication that Clark was the only person he'd fake a smile that convincingly for. "You know I'd do anything for you, Clark."

Even fuck on a dusty, rickety chair that looked like it was just waiting for an opportunity to stab him full of splinters.

It was just as well he healed quickly.

Reminding himself that he'd encouraged Clark's playfulness - this was his own fault, really - he dutifully moved to sit on the chair, and once he'd convinced himself it wasn't about to fall apart, lifted an eyebrow at Clark. "Well?"

Grinning his joy - and really, that made it all worthwhile - Clark rushed forward to straddle his lap. There were definitely worse things than having Clark on top of him, his own hands rubbing slowly over muscular jean-clad thighs.

Lowering his head, Clark sighed into the kiss and Lex decided to ignore the fact that the chair wasn't comfortable, or that the dust was doing God knew what to his clothes. It didn't matter, because as cliched and romantic novelesque as it sounded (not that he'd ever read any - or at least that's what he'd told the man in his arms), he'd do anything to make Clark happy.

The fact that the typically resulting sex was great was just a bonus.

"So," Clark said, breaking the kiss and leaning further forward to mouth Lex's neck, "any fantasies you have that you wanna tell me about?"

Lex was rapidly re-evaluating his opinion of Rickety Old Chair Sex. "This is a pretty good one," he murmured, arching his neck to give Clark more access, deliberately ignoring the groan of wood as he pulled Clark closer. His neck had always been sensitive, and when Clark gently bit at the skin Lex moaned, all kinds of parts of him suddenly ready for action.

Moaning, his hands slipped to Clark's butt, desperately trying to haul them even closer together despite the fact he was starting to lose all feeling in his legs, and Clark groaned, arched, squeezed and...something cracked.

Fortunately, it wasn't any part of Lex's body.

Unfortunately, it was part of what he was sitting on.

After the chair crumpled to the ground, though he was going to be the proud owner of some quite spectacular bruises, Lex considered himself fortunate that he hadn't sustained another head injury.

Worried, Clark had frantically - and physically - made sure Lex was fine, before tipping his head to one side from where he was lying on the floor.

"Maybe I should be the one sitting on the chair next time, huh?"

*

Lex had been paranoid, initially. Their first attempt at the chair sex had, after all, been less than stellar. So, this time he'd rather gingerly climbed onto Clark's lap, and spent a large portion of the next few minutes obsessively listening for telling cracks or noises coming from the chair.

Clark, not appreciating the lack of attention, had rapidly gained it back by working his hand between their bodies and cupping Lex through his pants.

Quickly forgetting all about his earlier concerns, Lex was now happily thrusting against Clark's hand. He may have been fully dressed, but it still felt really good, and as he moaned he captured Clark's mouth, loving the strength in Clark's free hand as he clutched at Lex's body. God, it was hot when Clark lost it enough to bruise him, even if he insisted on apologising afterwards, and Lex was in the mood to make sure it happened again today.

The space was confined, but Lex carefully worked a hand between them, coming to rest over the bulge in Clark's jeans. "Let's take care of that, hmm?" Lex murmured, smiling as he lowered the zipper, enjoying the rumbled groan when he pulled Clark's cock free.

"Jesus, Lex," Clark hissed, his hand falling away from Lex's groin, but Lex didn't really mind.

Sucking on Clark's neck, Lex flicked his thumb around the tip of Clark's dick and...

Oh.

They were floating.

And then they weren't.

And then another chair was broken.

Maybe they should rethink this chair sex idea.

*

Chair sex was the best thing ever. Correction, naked chair sex was the best thing ever. This time, they'd wisely taken their clothes off first and selected a chair that seemed a great deal sturdier than their previous attempts.

And now here he was, happily and enthusiastically rocking himself to oblivion. The chair showed no signs of giving out under the strain, Lex's fingers were playing with Clark's nipples, they were practically eating each other alive with their mouths and Clark's big - huge, enormous - hand was wrapped around both of their cocks, jacking them off together.

If it had felt great when he was full clothed, it was fucking amazing now; all skin and sweat and taste and Clark and any second now, any second now, and though he knew they were alone old habits kicked in as he locked his mouth onto Clark's to muffle the groan as he came and came and came.

Sometime later when the synaptic pathways in his brain were firing again, Lex stirred. Big, familiar hands patted drowsily at his body, and Lex nuzzled further into Clark's neck.

"Okay," he admitted, kissing the skin. "This was a good idea."

Humming his agreement, Clark kissed Lex's shoulder.

Body starting to cool, Lex thought longingly of the blanket he knew was on the sofa a few feet away, but snuggled closer to Clark instead. Superfast alien physiology could be good for many things, including Vital Lex Warming.

There was one last thing he just had to know, however.

"Clark?"

"Mmm?"

"Why do you have so many chairs in your barn anyway?"

Clark just grinned.

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