For justabi's fic challenge. Requirements:

Fandom: Smallville
Pairing: Clark/Lex
Line: "You are so busted."

Characters owned by DC and WB.

In England I'd rate this a 15 for sexual situations. Feedback would be greatly appreciated :)

Ha! *points* Look at the punny title! I'm so lame...

*

Lex was fairly sure he hadn't been naked when he'd left the castle this morning.

Yes, now that he thought about it in greater detail, he was absolutely certain he hadn't been naked when he'd left the castle this morning. He specifically remembered walking into the closet and deciding what colour shirt to wear - purple, plum, violet or lavender.

His clothes were quite possibly gayer than he was.

It wasn't as if he were uncomfortable with his nakedness - being entirely bald and the son of a Luthor had eventually led to an abundance of confidence, which was no doubt the result of trying to overcompensate...but he wasn't about to psychoanalyse himself right now. There were other things to focus on.

Like him. Being naked.

Struggling to remember what happened, Lex replayed what he *could* recall over in his head. Dressed, coffee, light breakfast. Driving away from the castle towards the plant for a meeting with Gabe...well, there was some good news. He was *never* late for his meetings, so hopefully Gabe would send someone out to look for him.

Feeling a little more prepared to move, Lex pushed his body up until he was sitting. He winced, partly at the feel of dirt in not-used-to-dirt crevices, and partly at the bitter taste in his mouth. Chloroform? Something similar?

He was near the side of a road that looked vaguely familiar. Definitely still Smallville. Good. Though Smallville wasn't exactly Union Station, the longer he stayed there the longer the chances of someone else stumbling across him.

Hmm...but did he really want that? Many of the residents who hadn't dealt with him directly were still of the opinion that he was dognapping puppies on a regular basis and slitting their throats deep in the dark nefarious bowels of his eeeevil castle. When this got out it was somehow going to be all *his* fault.

Moving slowly he shakily stood up, still woozy, but aware enough to know that he bore no unexpected (and secretly feared) pain or bruising.

The relief spurred him on and he stepped closer to the road, trying to remember which way would take him homeward bound...when he heard it.

Engine noise.

Maybe it was Gabe, maybe it wasn't, but diving for the nearest cornfield wasn't really Lex's style so he stared at the direction the noise was coming from to see if he could identify the owner.

It was red. Okay, that was okay, lots of people owned red vehicles.

It was a truck.

It was a truck he recognised.

Shit.

Suddenly that field of corn was looking much more appealing.

He couldn't help but wonder who was inside. Clark, Martha or Jonathan. Maybe fate was being *really* nice to him and it was all three. That'd just make his *day*.

Still, realistically, it probably would be for the best that it was someone - or various someone's - from the Kent family. He'd have to put up with some teasing, but they'd never believed the dognapping thing.

An image of Mr Kent flashed in his mind and Lex pondered the truth of that previous thought.

All thinking pretty much stopped however, when the truck finally came to a halt a few feet away and the single occupant opened the door and practically bounded over to him.

"Lex?!"

Okay, convincing himself earlier that it being a Kent would be a good thing? So. Wrong. He could only thank God - or whoever actually lived up there - that he wasn't in any state of mind to get aroused. "Hey Clark."

"Oh my God, what happened? Are you okay?"

Even as he spoke Clark was touching him, turning him, his hands practically running all over his naked form. Lex was a little surprised at Clark's indifference to his nudity but then realised he shouldn't have been. For as long as he'd known him, Clark had always been good at dealing with emergencies or 'situations'. More often than not he was the one person who resolved them. While Clark could blush with the best of them, he also knew when to take control.

And...*none* of this was helping that 'you really don't want to get aroused' line he was trying to sell himself. "I think I was mugged." Yes, best to focus on that.

"*Mugged*?" Clark's hands tightened on his arms, almost to the point of the pain.

Clark's protective urge? Definitely *not* something else he was going to find attractive. Nuh uh.

Lex still hadn't responded so Clark moved, guiding him towards the truck. "Come on, let's get you inside."

Far too happy to get his nakedness away from Clark, Lex very carefully didn't run to the passenger side of the truck and climbed inside, gratefully shutting the door. Of course he was only grateful up until the moment Clark climbed into the truck next to him. There really wasn't a lot of space between his naked legs and Clark's denim-clad thighs.

Focus, *focus*.

Starting the truck, Clark pulled it fully onto the road. "Do you remember what happened?"

Yes, that. That he could do. As time passed his memories were starting to come back a little and he forced himself to think only of them. Lex closed his eyes. "I think..." ...driving, broken down car, side of the road... "...someone had broken down. I stopped to see if I could help - which I'm entirely blaming on your influence, by the way," he didn't need to look to know that Clark was smiling. "And...they must have drugged me somehow." That part was still blurry, but he opened his eyes and though he'd done it earlier he examined his arms again. Definitely no needle holes. Maybe it really had been chloroform...

Clark's hands tightened on the steering wheel.

Lex thought he might have heard something crack. "Do you have a cell phone?"

Even as Lex had started speaking Clark had begun fishing the phone he was carrying out of his right hand jean pocket, and Lex was relieved that for once Mr Kent had considered the cell phone to be a worthwhile expense.

Then Lex was less relieved as Clark had to lift his hips up considerably to get the phone out, his left hand still grasping firmly onto the steering wheel, his right digging about inside his pocket. What did he have in there - the smallest cell phone ever constructed? Or maybe his jeans were quite full and he had to work around-

ohbadmentalimagebadmentalimage

-and when the phone was finally held out to him he quickly snatched it from Clark, turned away as far as he could, and dialled the Sheriff. More likely than not he'd been the intended target all along, and he needed to get someone over to the castle ASAP because those bastards had his keys to almost everything. Almost.

As he quickly found out they hadn't got very far anyway. Chloe had seen someone driving Lex's car who looked nothing at all like Lex (for once his distinctiveness was an advantage), and a quick phone call to the police later and the perpetrators had been caught red handed at the castle. After confirming a few more details he hung up, and conveyed the good news to Clark along with the phone.

His friend smiled broadly. "Still wanna kick their asses though."

Lex chuckled, feeling the best he had since waking up. "I'm a Luthor. I'm sure I can arrange that."

Clark smiled again, the really *big* one and shit, Lex turned away again but he was completely *naked*. How the hell was he supposed to hide this? "Uh Clark...do you have a blanket or something?" He would have thought that Lex Luthor, used to chairing meetings with some of the toughest business associates in the world, would have thought up something a little less...lame. But no.

"Sorry Lex," Clark shook his head sadly, obviously thinking it was as much to cover his pride as anything else. "But we're not that far from the castle now-" He looked over at Lex, saw what was *there*, and looked away so fast Lex was surprised he didn't get whiplash.

Lex tried not to get embarrassed, and imagined the ways Clark could be explaining it to himself. It happened to guys sometimes. Hell, being a teenager Clark should know all about that. It didn't have to *mean* anything. It just...happened.

He was, however, very surprised when Clark pulled off the side of the road, turned off the engine, and all but pounced on him.

"CLARK!"

There was a tongue on the side of his neck that didn't seem to mind the dirt it had to be finding there. Lex gasped, stunned, squirming beneath the heavy form as he at least *tried* to do the right thing. "Clark, I really don't think this is a-" a mouth latched onto his nipple, "GOOD IDEA!"

Pulling away Clark grinned down at him, then at Lex's extremely obvious and impossible to deny enjoyment of the situation.

Leaning back down, his legs tangling with Lex's, Clark's mouth moved to his ear.

"You are so busted."

~FINIS

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