Disclaimer - DC and WB own these puppies, I don't.

Hmm. Okay. So this is even sillier than my previous fic, and has no redeeming value whatsoever.

HEE!

Future fic, Clex. Rated PG-13 for a rude word and implied sexual situation. Feedback would be great :)

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If Lex knew one thing that, beyond a shadow of a doubt, was the absolute truth, it was this:

Clark had a big cock.

Lex knew because he was looking at it. Perhaps even staring. Some might have called it ogling, but Lex had never put much stock in what other people said.

"Hi, Lex!" Clark greeted happily, naked as the day he was born (presuming Kryptonian birth was much the same as human birth - Lex hadn't managed to get any specifics on that yet).

Becoming Superman had changed Clark. They'd anticipated that, of course, just not how much. He'd become comfortable with himself and his body in ways he never had been before, not even after he'd started having sex.

Whenever Lex dropped by for a visit these days, more often than not Clark would be walking around shirtless or only wearing his boxers, or - on one particular evening when Lois had been encouraging Clark to 'shake up his dress sense a little' - wearing nothing but a thong.

Today, however, Clark was absolutely and completely naked, and Lex wondered if he had to wax or pluck or *anything* because if not it was really quite unfair that anyone could be that naturally perfect.

"Clark," he said, when he was reasonably sure he could speak again, "this is a new look for you."

Looking down at his body, Clark's eyes widened before he laughed at himself. "Man, I keep doing that!" Opening the door further, he gestured for Lex to come in. "You should see how often I've scared the super."

Clark's super was a fifty-two year old pervert who probably used every excuse he could think of to pay Clark a visit. "Keep it up and maybe he'll let you stay here rent-free."

"Lex!" Clark laughed, flushing red, which was really quite amazing. Closing the apartment door, he nodded towards the bedroom. "I'll go put something on."

Lex almost said, "Don't get dressed on my account," but he was worried it would come out as "Please *God* stay naked!" and wisely said nothing at all.

Moving into the kitchen, he pulled two bottles of his favourite carbonated water out of the fridge and when Clark returned wearing only sweat pants, Lex threw him a bottle as they sat down on the sofa.

Opening his bottle, Lex listened to it fizz for a while before glancing towards Clark. "So what's with all the naked skin lately?"

Spluttering around his drink, Clark coughed, grinned, and placed the open bottle on the coffee table. "Well, I had a shower earlier and didn't feel like getting dressed afterwards." Pausing, he shrugged. "I dunno what it is. I just feel...better about myself, you know? It's almost like clothes are in the way."

Lex understood the feeling. In fact Lex was fighting the impulse to grab some kryptonite, push Clark to the floor, and force the sweat pants down to re-expose all of that Clark-skin.

"That's good," Lex said instead. "Not many people are that comfortable with their bodies. At least not without being arrogant."

Obviously pleased, Clark nudged him with his shoulder. His naked shoulder. "What about you?"

"What about me?" Lex asked, lifting his eyebrows. "Do I walk around naked?"

"Yeah."

Squinting at Clark deliberately, Lex pursed his lips together. "If this ends up in the 'Planet..." Clark rolled his eyes so Lex gave up the teasing. "From time to time, I guess. Most people probably have now and then. I don't make a habit out of it." He smirked. "It tends to make Mercy uncomfortable."

Chuckling, Clark grabbed his bottle from the table and took another gulp of his drink, so Lex took the opportunity to swallow some of his own.

They sat in companiable silence for a while - or as companiable as it could be when Lex was unbelievably aware of the fact that Clark wasn't wearing a shirt - before Clark thumped his drink on the table, turned towards Lex, and Lex realised that maybe the silence wasn't so companiable after all.

"I like your skin," Clark stated bluntly. "I bet you look good naked."

Had Lex's brain been capable of operating, it probably would have exploded. He'd loved Clark for a long time, but the idea that Clark would actually make a pass at him was so completely foreign by now that Lex probably looked like a stunned reject from a reality TV show (the only reason he knew what one looked like, of course, was that he secretly watched The Apprentice and snickered every time someone screwed up). "Are you coming on to me?" Yes, his voice may have sounded slightly panicky. No, there was nothing he could do to stop it.

Sighing, Clark rolled his eyes. "God, Lex, you are so dense."

He was immediately affronted. "Excuse me?" Lex loved Clark, yes, but if *anyone* was the dense one in this relationship-

"No clothes!" Clark exclaimed. "I've been walking around in hardly any clothes for the last six weeks!"

Well when he put it like that, Lex did feel rather dense. But...but... "You said you feel good about yourself."

"I *do*," Clark replied, "but you think I walk around like this when Lois visits?"

Quite frankly, Lex had been trying not to think about it. "So...you're saying..." This was too much to process. He had to break it down. "Let me get this straight. You're interested in a relationship with me."

"Yes," Clark nodded emphatically.

"A romantic relationship."

"Yes."

"With sex."

"Oh, *yeah*," Clark said, and Lex's stomach flipped.

The naked shoulder next to him was suddenly fascinating. "And you decided the best way to tell me this was to walk around naked."

Clark shrugged. "I didn't say it was a good plan."

"But you *are* half-naked already," Lex pointed out, beyond reason now and hypnotically drawn to Clark's collar bone. "It'd be a shame not to take advantage of that..."

Oh, yes. Clark tasted very nice indeed.

Exhavily heavily, Clark's hands clutched at Lex's body. "I'm taking the licking as a good sign."

"Do that," Lex breathed, mere seconds before moving his mouth to Clark's and discovering that kissing was another of Superman's powers.

~FINIS