Disclaimer - Paramount own them. Pah.
Look Sy - I wrote it!
*
Chakotay walked along the corridor, half-reading the PADD he was holding, half-watching where he was going. Reaching the turbolift he pushed the button and waited patiently. A few seconds later the doors opened and he went to step through...
...only to be stopped when something hit him in the eye. Dropping the PADD to the floor he grabbed his eye which immediately began to thump in pain. "Ow...dammit..." He began to swear but with his good eye he saw who had done the throwing. "Sh-Naomi!"
Looking horrified by what she had done her mouth opened wide and she grabbed onto the legs of his uniform. "Commander, I'm so sorry! You see Neelix was teaching me about the planets and moons of the Terran solar system and I was just taking a break and these little models look so much like balls that I just began throwing it against the door. I had no idea that-"
"It's okay Naomi, really," he told her, bending down and picking up the model and his PADD. Stepping in the turbolift, he rubbed at his eye again. "Deck two." The turbolift hummed into life and he handed the model back to repentant Naomi. "Just be more careful next time. So which planet is that one?"
She grinned up at him, eager to impart information recently learned. "Actually it's Earth's moon. Did you know that it's a thousand times smaller than-"
*
After escaping the impromptu science lesson after the fortunately brief - although painful - encounter in the turbolift, Chakotay headed towards the mess hall. He worked better on a full stomach, so as he ate he'd finish reading the PADD and then give a summary to Kathryn. It was always a pleasure to see her of course, but lately she'd been in a particular good mood. He didn't know what to attribute it to, but he was happy for it.
As the doors whooshed open, any thought of a peaceful lunch rapidly vanished.
"I said come back here you...cold-hearted-"
"B'Elanna!" Tom yelled, clearly trying to calm her down as he also tried to coax the slice of pizza away that she was holding in her hand and was aiming at someone. The 'someone' in question was Seven of Nine, who stood a few feet in front of Chakotay.
She spoke. "I did not intend to offend you Lieutenant. However, as you seem to find it necessary to overreact-"
"Overreact?" B'Elanna whispered harshly.
Knowing that tone of voice all too well, Chakotay stepped in to intervene before things got ugly. Alas, he was too late. B'Elanna's arm - that had already been pulled back for a good swing - moved forward, releasing the pizza in a gastronomic display the like of which hadn't been seen since that infamous leola humus incident.
The pizza whizzed through the air, casting pieces of tomato and green peppers on everyone it passed, until it reached the target area. Seven merely stepped to one side, leaving only one possible result.
He almost sighed.
A split-second later the pizza splatted onto his face, covering the eye that had been wounded earlier.
There was silence for all of two seconds, until the slice began to noisily slip down Chakotay's face before landing on the floor with a mucky 'splat!'
Blinking tomato out of his eye while trying to look stern, Chakotay began to loose his temper. "I don't know what the hell is going on in this ship! First Naomi hits me in the eye with a moon and now this-"
Tom stepped forward and interrupted even as B'Elanna apologised profusely. "Uh, sorry to barge in...but she threw a moon at your eye? The same eye that got hit just now?"
Chakotay nodded grumpily.
Tom sniggered briefly but continued, wanting to clarify. "So the moon hit your eye like...like that big pizza pie?"
Chakotay nodded again as B'Elanna handed him a towel.
Laughing wildly, Tom tipped his head back, spread out his arms and yelled dramatically:
"That's amore!"
~FINIS