Coffee And Spittle
by Suz

Disclaimer - characters are supposed to belong to Paramount, but I wanna let 'em have fun...

Based on events described in 'Revulsion'. And it can fit into canon too. Woo hoo.


Someone beeped for entry into Chakotay's office.

"Come in," he called as he stood to push a button on the console to his left with a coffee cup in his free hand.

The doors opened to reveal Seven of Nine who was wearing her usual detached yet inquisitive expression. She advanced towards him stopping just short of walking into the desk and held out a padd. "Commander Chakotay, as requested here is my report on my work for the new astrometrics section."

He took the padd from her and immediately dropped it onto the table. "So, how is the work going?"

Obviously expecting to be dismissed, she frowned when she realised he wanted to converse. "My report contains a full explanation-"

"Oh I'm sure it does Seven. I'm sure it's a very detailed and very precise explanation of the work you've been doing. But what do *you* think of your work?"

Not used to thinking in such terms, Seven hesitated. "We are ahead of schedule. I am...satisfied with my work." She still had no sense of personal pride.

"And how are you getting on with Harry?" he queried, settling down into his chair.

Her expression didn't waver. "Ensign Kim is reasonably efficient."

"That's not what I meant Seven. How are you and he...connecting? How are you interacting with him as one person to another, not just one officer to another?"

She rose her Borgified eyebrow. "I fail to see the point of such observations."

Chakotay nodded, half-agreeing with her. "I'm sure it didn't matter when you were Borg, but you're an individual now. Inter-personal relationships are important."

She studied him for a short time and he was sure she was going to ask "why?". It seemed her favourite activity at times. Eventually she conceeded. "Very well. Ensign Kim has been engaging in irrelevant conversations regarding how I spend my 'spare time' as he calls it, but he has also been helping me to understand more of your complex social interactions."

He gulped down some of his coffee. "So he's more of a help than a hindrence?"

"So far you are correct." she admitted.

"And how has he been helping you with those 'complex social interactions'?"

"Last night he requested that I meet him in the mess hall. Upon my arrival I noticed that the lights were lowered and he seemed to want to discuss another subject other than work. I came to the conclusion that he wanted to copulate."

Chakotay froze to stop his instinctive reaction to bring back up the coffee he had just swallowed. Coughing slightly he placed his cup carefully on his desk and raised the other hand to cover his mouth.

"Are you ill Commander?" Seven asked, apparently baffled by his behaviour.

He thumped his chest a few times before regaining control. "No Seven, I'm alright. You just...surprised me."


He wrapped both hands around the cup again but left it sitting on the table. "You're rather blunt. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, but you don't usually bring up the topic of sex in polite conversation."

"Why not?"

"Some people consider it a taboo subject and become uncomfortable when they talk about it."

Seven opened her mouth slightly in realisation. "It is only a basic biological function."

"Yes, but it's a very personal basic biological function."

"I see. Do you feel uncomfortable talking about sex?"

Fighting the ridiculous urge to blush, Chakotay removed one hand from the cup to tug at his right ear. He didn't even realise he was doing so until later. "Well...I suppose it depends on who I'm talking to. If it's a good friend who I've known for a long time then I can talk and joke about it easily."

She nodded. "And what if you're talking about sex with someone you wish to copulate with?"

Chakotay laughed briefly, nervously. "That can get rather uncomfortable."

"Why?" There was that word again. Didn't she ever ask anything else?

"Well...let's say you haven't had sex with this person yet and they're a friend. Even though you want to have sex with them there's a part of you that doesn't want them to know yet. If you never end up having sex with them you might not want them to know that you want to have sex with them." He paused after speaking perhaps the most bizarre statement he had ever come up with.

Seven seemed just as lost as he did. "This is most confusing..."

He shrugged with a forced indifference. "It's part of being an individual. Or at least a human individual."

Seven remained standing there for at least ten seconds. Her expression was withdrawn as if she were thinking over something. He decided not to disturb her and took another sip of his remaining coffee.

Finally she spoke.

"Commander, is there anyone on board Voyager who you wish to copulate with?"

Seven soon found herself covered in a mixture of coffee and spittle.


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