Janeway's Phaser Rifle
by Suz suzvoy@tesco.net

This little ditty is in response to the 1001 challenge to write a story based on a Beatles song. Anyone familiar with Maxwell's Silver Hammer? Well...

Disclaimer - characters belong to Paramount. Original song lyrics property of Lennon/McCartney.

Who deserves to get punished the most?

Feedback would be great :)

*

Neelix loved his root, and he wore a yellow suit
Style all his own
Late nights all alone in the mess hall
Ohh-oh-oh-oh...
Kathryn Janieway knew a price he had to pay
Called him for a fix
"Can I have some coffee my dear
Nee-ee-ee-lix?"
But as he's getting ready to go
A beep comes at the door...

Bang, bang, Janeway's phaser rifle
Did aim towards his head
Bang, bang, Janeway's phaser rifle
Made sure that he was dead

Back on bridge again Janeway struts her stuff again
XO gets annoyed
Wishing to avoid an unpleasant sce-e-e-ene
He asks her to stay, tells the rest to go away
So she stands aside
Knowing that his smile will be just so-o-o-oo...
But when he turns his back on the gal
She creeps up from behind

Bang, bang, Janeway's phaser rifle
Did aim towards his head
Bang, bang, Janeway's phaser rifle
Made sure that he was dead

Red shirt Thirty-One said "we caught a dirty one"
Janeway stands alone
Painting testimonial pictures ohh-oh-oh-oh
Kim and Torres, knowing what the score is
Say she must go free (Janeway must go free)
The Vulc does not agree and he tells them so-o-o-oo
But as the words are leaving his lips
A noise comes from behind

Bang, bang, Janeway's phaser rifle
Did aim towards his head
Bang, bang, Janeway's phaser rifle
Made sure that he was dead wo-wo-wo-oo
Phaser rifle gal

~FINIS

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