Of Iceni
by Suz suzvoy@tesco.net

Disclaimer - Paramount own the characters.

This is for Boadicea

Angst. Lots of it.


Shadows and images filled the normally-bright sickbay, the only source of light being the sims beacon attached to Kathryn Janeway's wrist, anxiously searching through the equipment with bloody fingers for a hypospray. Finding one, she swore happily in her success, before moving to another tray. Finding the drug that she wanted she inserted the vial into the hypospray that contained more than enough doses.

Moving back to the others, she quickly knelt down before them. They were hiding on the floor between biobeds two and three so they had something between them should anyone try and get in through the Jeffries tube or the door.

"You found it," he stated, not resigned.

"Yes," she whispered, pulling her hair out of her eyes.

He nodded.

He understood. He didn't want to, but he did.

Her crew was dead. She knew for a fact that the only surviving crew members of the USS Voyager were the three people in this room. The body of Tom Paris lay on the opposite side of biobed one, something she had chosen not to tell them upon her discovery of it.

She would miss him.

Someone thumped on the door.

They were out of options. They had no weapons. There was barely any power in sickbay at all - nothing she could rig to overload or explode. The Doctor's holographic systems had been compromised a long time ago so there would be no help from him. The aliens physiology was so different from theirs that she knew from past experience that none of the drugs they kept in sickbay would be effective.

But they would be effective on any member of the crew.

She would not let it end like this, would not let them have the pleasure of killing them. If Kathryn Janeway was going to die it was going to be on her own terms. And she would not let them have the child.


The girl was frightened but brave, her arms doing their best to wrap around Chakotay's body as she sat beside him. "Yes Captain?"

"I'm going to give you a hypospray of something. It'll make you sleepy. Don't be afraid."

Naomi's arms held onto Chakotay even tighter for a moment before letting go. "I'm not," she stated proudly, sitting straight.

It was all Kathryn could do to stop herself from dropping the hypospray. She *knew*. Naomi knew what they had planned. She had always been too smart...

Kathryn hadn't realised her fingers had loosened until the instrument fell from her grasp and Chakotay caught it. His eyes met hers.

"I'll do it." he offered, even though she could see part of him dying.

No. "No," she managed to whisper. This was her job. She was the Captain.

Taking the hypospray from him she nodded and once again faced Naomi. "Come here," she ordered, and Naomi showed a small amount of surprise before scurrying into the Captains arms.

Someone thumped on the door.

"Ms Wildman, I would like to tell you what an excellent Captains Assistant you are. In fact I am seriously thinking of putting you up for the position of First Officer..."

"Oh, really?" Chakotay joked. "I didn't know the position was open."

Kathryn looked at him, determined to keep the moment light. "Indeed. My current First Officer has a problem with nosiness that is really quite irritating..."

Naomi giggled. "I'd be honoured to be your First Officer, Captain. Does this mean I get to call you Kathryn?"

They exchanged glances. "Maybe later."

Wrapping her arms around the child, she pulled her closer for a hug. She could do this. She could do this. She was Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Federation Starship Voyager. She could do anything.

And then she made her mistake.

Oh God, she made her mistake.

She looked at him.



...she couldn't do it.

Someone thumped on the door.

And suddenly she was injecting the drug into the little girl's blood stream. Immediately she dropped the hypospray, stunned that she had actually done it, actually done what needed to be done.

Already Naomi's eyes were drooping.

What had she done? What had she done?

"What needed to be done," he told her.

It was painless, and quite fast. Within a minute the little girl was lying dead in her arms.

Kathryn didn't cry.

Chakotay moved, settling next to her and wrapping his arms around them.

Someone thumped on the door.

Kathryn shivered.

He took the hypospray from her. They had discussed this.

It was going to be harder to watch him die, she realised. She hadn't thought it would be.

They savoured the sensation of human contact, the contact between them that had been denied for so long.

"I think I loved you." he said.

"I know," she responded, as the door began to buckle. "I'm sorry."

He moved the hypospray up towards her arm but just before it made contact she grabbed it, swivelled, and injected him. He blinked, stunned. "Kathryn..?"

"I'm so sorry..." she told him, blinking harshly and touching his face. "But I couldn't let you watch me." She ached for him to understand.

"We agreed..." he whispered, even as his body began to relax. "We agreed I'd be the last..."

She injected herself then.

He fell backwards, silent.

The door squealed.

Breathing became slower, not more difficult as she had anticipated. Suddenly feeling extraordinarily tired, she lay down with half her body covering him and Naomi's hand still in one of hers. She was going to close her eyes and dream the most beautiful dream she had ever had...

The door caved in, thumping to the floor.

The light of several torches flooded the room and highlighted her bloody, drawn face. Despite the tears now pouring down her cheeks, Kathryn Janeway's last act was to laugh.


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