The Ex-Borg's New Clothes
by Suz

Disclaimer - Paramount owns the characters, which is a bit of a pity.

Set not too long after 'Thirty Days'.


Seven of Nine walked into sickbay to discover the Doctor waiting for her, smiling.

"Doctor, you requested my presence?"

His smile grew even bigger. "Indeed I did, fair Seven of Nine."

Seven blinked several times. The Doctor did not often refer to her as 'fair'. In fact as far she could recall he had never done so. Perhaps he was trying to be more congenial. While the Doctor had often tried to help her improve her manners, many of the crew had commented on his own lack of them on occassion. "Then what do you require my presence for?"

"I have a surprise for you," he informed her, and proceeded to walk over to his office. "It's something I've been planning and designing for a long time."

Seven remained where she was, wondering just what this 'surprise' was. She disliked not knowing what was going to occur. It was...unsettling. Her eyebrows rose when the Doctor returned from his office with a piece of metal wire in his hand.

"A clothes hanger?" she queried, staring at his hand as it grabbed the hook.

Looking quite upset, the EMH frowned. "Not at all, Seven! This is your new outfit."

"But there is nothing on the hanger," she stated, confused.

"Of course there is!" he insisted, moving the palm of his free hand vertically in mid air, so it seemed he was rubbing the material of the outfit. That is, if Seven could *see* the outfit. "It's made of a new material B'Elanna and Harry have been helping me make. Once you put it on anyone who looks at you will see you wearing a dark blue bodysuit."

She moved her head slightly. "Is there something wrong with the one I am wearing now?"

"I'm afraid that outfit's usefulness has come to an end, Seven. Each of the clothes I have designed for you have been made specifically to help you heal. As you know it's been a long and ongoing process - you were in the collective for nearly twenty years, after all. You now need to progress to a new set of clothing. Hence this one." To emphasis his point he shook the hanger about.

Accepting this statement as the truth, Seven was still baffled. "May I ask why you made the clothing invisible until I put it on? It will make it most difficult to locate when I change my clothes."

Smiling, he held the hanger in both hands. "It will give the cargo bay less of a 'cluttered' feel." he joked, then realised who he was talking to. "Actually, it's our first step in attempting to create clothes that would make us invisible, which could obviously come in quite handy in a hostile situation."

His argument was sound. And he certainly had no reason to lie to her. "Very well," Seven agreed, and began to undress.

"Wait Seven!" he yelled, and she paused mid-strip and stared at him. He continued. "Computer, engage privacy lock on the sickbay doors, authorisation code twenty three beta."

"Acknowledged," the computer replied.

He held out the hanger. "We wouldn't want someone to walk in unexpectedly and get the view of their lifetime, now would we?"

Seven was still not concerned about displaying her body, but she appreciated the Doctor's thoughtfulness. She may not have been embarrassed if someone had walked in, but she suspected any newcomer would have been. "Thank you Doctor," she said as she relieved him of the hanger.

"I'll be in my office." And with that he swivelled and retreated.

Seven continued to strip.

It was several minutes later when she called out for the Doctor, who was part-way through reading a Klingon romance novel B'Elanna suggested he try.

"I believe I am ready Doctor, although I am not sure if I have it on correctly."

"Let's see," he answered and stepped out into sickbay, the padd he was reading still in his hand. "Oh you look wonderful Seven. That particular shade of blue really brings out the colour of your iris'."

She stood proud, hands behind her back. "I am not concerned with such matters."

"Of course not."

"But I do have the outfit on correctly, yes? I cannot see it myself."

He nodded. "Absolutely. I know it can be rather disconcerting to look down and think you're not wearing anything, but trust me, the outfit's on properly."

Walking to the edge of the biobed where she had placed her old clothes, she picked them up and handed them to the Doctor. "I suggest your recycle the materials used to make these."

"I was planning to," he answered smartly and watched as she left. The doors closed behind her just as he Doctor flickered and her clothes fell to the floor.


The Doctor had been correct. It was a *most* disconcerting experience to feel she was not wearing anything other than her underwear. Nevertheless, Seven continued to walk proudly along the corridor, displaying nothing less than her Borg perfection. Entering a turbolift, she ordered it to take her to deck two.

After disembarking she walked for approximately fifty feet before she reached the mess hall. The doors parted for her and she entered. The mess hall was not especially busy with only seven crewmembers being present including Ensign Kim, Ensign Paris, and Lieutenant Torres.

Replicating herself a cup of cold water for refreshment, she approached their table intending to ask if she could join them.

She didn't get that far.

As she walked towards them Lieutenant Torres looked up and saw her. The half-Klingon's eyes widened dramatically and she muttered "Kahless..."

Seven was puzzled by the Lieutenant's behaviour, as was Ensign Kim. He began to turn to see what was so interesting when Lieutenant Torres grabbed his arm to stop him. Ensign Paris just gawked at Seven, apparently stunned by something.

Ensign Kim tried to tug his arm away from the Lieutenant but she maintained a firm grip and looked him directly in the eyes. "Harry, whatever you do, no matter how much you want to, do *not* turn around."

"Why not?" he asked petulantly.

"Just trust me on this!" the Lieutenant growled and Ensign Kim obeyed.

Feeling it was now appropriate to speak, Seven did so. "Ensigns, Lieutenant, may I join you?"

Lieutenant Torres was the first to respond, although Ensign Paris looked as if he had been about to say something. "Actually Seven, we'd prefer that you didn't. It's nothing against you personally, we're just having a private conversation. No offense."

The ex-Borg took a small gulp from her cup. "I have taken no offense. I understand that you have private lives and cannot always include me in them." The words were spoken without anger.

Ensign Paris finally said something. "Say Seven...that's an...interesting outfit you've got on there."

Ensign Kim kept trying to move his head but Lieutenant Torres only intensified her grip. By now what Seven could see of the ensigns face was an unhealthy pallor. "B'Elanna," he whispered "I've lost all blood circulation to my hand."

"You're *not* moving!" she hissed back.

Seven wondered what was causing such a strong reaction but as it was a private conversation decided not to ask. Instead she continued her conversation with Thomas Paris. "Thank you Ensign. It is something the Doctor and Lieutenant Torres made for me."

"WHAT?" Lieutenant Torres barked and everyone in the room turned to look at her. Then everyone in the room stared at Seven. "I sure as hell didn't make that outfit!"

"You didn't?"

"No," she answered and chuckled slightly "I suggest you have a word with the Captain about re-programming the Doctor's sense of humour."

"Now that's been something I've been suggesting for *years*..." Ensign Paris commented.

Lieutenant Torres frowned. "Shut up, Tom."

Seven looked at the woman. "Thank you Lieutenant. I as you suggest," although she really didn't know what was so bad about her clothes. Turning quickly, she deposited her cup back in the replicator and began to walk to the exit.

From the table she had just left she could hear murmurs and then Ensign Kim shouting "What?!!! You let me miss that?!!", followed by loud footsteps and then the sound of someone being tackled to the floor.

It was a private conversation. Seven was not going to look back.


Everyone she passed in the corridor stared at her, clearly admiring her new clothes. The junior officer who shared the short turbolift journey to the bridge with her clearly enjoyed looking at them because he kept staring at her. As the turbolift came to a halt the officer nearly leapt out and ran to the front of the bridge. Frowning, Seven followed him.

No one noticed her for a few moments, thinking the only occupant of the turbolift had been the junior officer. As she proceeded to the Captains ready room however, Commander Tuvok spotted her.

"Seven, may I ask what you are doing?"

She frowned again at his choice of words. "I am going to see the Captain regarding my clothes."

Nodding in agreement, Tuvok studied the crewmembers on the bridge who were also apparently fascinated with her new outfit. "I believe that would be a good idea."

Walking to the ready room, Seven pressed the button that requested entry. It was several long moments before the Captain called for her to enter, and in the interim Seven thought she heard the Captain exclaim a profanity. Clearly she must have mis-heard. The Captain was not an individual who used such language.

Entering the ready room, Seven was greeted by the sight of the Captain who was sitting behind her desk looking out of breath. Commander Chakotay sat on the couch by the windows with a pillow on his lap and a pained expression on his face.

Perhaps these two had also been in the middle of a private conversation.

The Commander's expression became even worse when he looked at Seven. "Oh that's *just* what I need..." he muttered and shifted on the couch as if he were uncomfortable.

The Captain sent him what Seven classified as a 'dirty' look (a strange term Ensign Paris had taught her) but quickly returned her attention to the woman who had just entered her ready room. "Seven...that's an interesting outfit."

"Ensign Paris said the same thing..."

"I bet he did," the Commander replied and the Captain gave him yet another dirty look.

"...but I am curious as to why. The Doctor said he made it for me with Lieutenant Torres, yet Lieutenant Torres claims to know nothing about it. She said that I should speak to you about 're-programming the Doctor's sense of humour'."

Shaking her head, the Captain licked her lips absently and Seven noticed they were redder than usual. "I don't believe this..." the Captain whispered.

Her com badge beeped. "Torres to Janeway."

"Janeway here."

"Captain, has Seven been to see you yet?"

The Captain looked at her. "Actually she's here right now and has informed me of what's been happening."

Lieutenant Torres laughed over the com line. "Well I've discovered what started all this. The Doctor's been playing with matrix again, adding characteristics from other individuals."

"Again?" the Captain demanded, folding her arms across her chest. Seven had no idea what she referring to. "I thought you made it clear last time that he was not to attempt it again."

"Well I thought I had...but it appears the Doctor decided that adding *one* individuals characteristics wouldn't have as strong an effect as last time. And let's be perfectly honest - at least this time it didn't end how it did before."

Unfolding her arms, the Captain rubbed a hand over her face. "True. I've take it you've removed the said characteristics?"

"Already done," Lieutenant Torres confirmed "and I will make it abundantly clear that he is *never* to try this again. Although he's so mortified by the experience I don't think he'll want to."

"Understood, and thank you B'Elanna. Janeway out." She closed the com line.

Seven took a step forward. "I am confused Captain. What has been occuring?"

The Captain looked over to the Commander who was still on the couch. "I'll explain it to you later Seven. Right now I suggest we transport you directly to my quarters where you can replicate yourself something to...change into until you get your own clothing back."

The ex-Borg was confused but complied. "Aye Captain."

Captain Janeway tapped her com badge. "Janeway to transpor-"

"Wait, Captain." Seven interrupted, a thought occurring.


"I would like to apologise."

The Captain was silent for a few moments, probably shocked because she didn't know why Seven would want to be apologising. "What for?"

"For interrupting. You and the Commander were about to have sex, were you not?"

The Commander coughed.

The Captain's response was to blush slightly but then tap her com badge once more. "Janeway to transporter room. Lock onto my com badge and transport to my quarters." Quickly pulling the com badge from her uniform she handed it to Seven. "Energise."

As Seven dematerialised the last image she saw was the Captain turning to the Commander and saying "Now, where we were, Big Boy?"

"Well I think you were just about to take-"


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