For mylo1012's fic challenge. Requirements:
Fandom: Joan of Arcadia
Character(s): Cute God, cow, no pairing
Line: "The miracles in life are right in front of you, you just have to be open to see them."
Characters owned by whoever makes JoA, etc etc. Rated G.
Feedback would be lovely. Many thanks to my wonderful smoochie.
*
"God?"
God's heard that tone before. Actually, he's heard every single tone of voice she ever has and ever will use, but that particular tone of voice? That particular tone of voice could be the one he's heard most of all. "Yes, Joan?"
She's staring at something that isn't him. He knows why, and she says it.
"There's a cow in the middle of the road."
He's not sure yet if her propensity for stating the obvious is endearing or annoying. "I can see that."
She turns from the cow to eye him speculatively. "Did you put it there?"
Annoying, definitely. "I've told you before, Joan. I don't make anything go where it doesn't want to."
"Including cows?"
He nods. "Including cows."
"And you totally just avoided my question. Yes! I rock!" Her arms lift in celebration.
God doesn't sigh - it wouldn't be very God-like - but he does contemplate the action. Taking this form is easier when she's closer to school, but something about it almost makes her forget that he *is* God, and believe that he's someone her age and therefore that much easier to mock.
Not that he doesn't have a sense of humour.
And not that he ever gets snippy.
"Okay," she continues once her moment of triumph has passed, "let's say you didn't put the cow there, but you did kind of...guide me towards it. I mean you did appear earlier and make very certain I walked this way to school, right?"
"I didn't-"
"You're never going to give me a straight answer, are you?" She regards him seriously for a moment, as if realising something, something more than what she just asked.
He smiles. "I will always tell you the truth, Joan."
"Okay, fine!" She rolls her eyes, sighs heavily, and slaps her arms against the sides of her body. "What *is* the point of the cow standing in the road - who, I might add, is probably going to end up as hamburger beneath the tires of some car sometime soon?"
God tells her the truth. "The miracles in life are right in front of you, you just have to be open to see them."
Joan looks at him, the cow, at him, and then back at the cow again. "And this...cow...is a miracle. Because..." she frowns heavily, and then after a few moments have passed she snaps her fingers together. "Ooo! Because a cow provides beef and...milk! And people need that to live. People eat beef, well except for vegetarians and, uh, people who don't like the taste, but people do eat beef! That's important. Oh! And some babies live on nothing but cow milk! That's all some babies have! Right? Right?"
She turns back to look at him but he's already gone where she can't see. He watches as she sighs again and starts muttering to herself.
"Of course. Leads me here and then leaves me to deal with the cow al by myself. Of *course*." Shaking her head she steps carefully onto the road, warily reaching out to the rope tied around the cows neck. "Heeeere cow...niiiice cow..." Joan tugs gently at the rope at first, but when that doesn't accomplish anything she pulls harder and the cow begins to move.
Shrieking a little she jumps back but manages to hold onto the rope, quickly clearing her throat as if she hadn't been scared at all. "Okay, this way, Mrs Cow." She leads the cow up onto the sidewalk, still walking cautiously. "Mrs Cow. Heh. What should I call you? Uh...Bovie? Yeah, Bovie. This way Bovie." God thought she was at least putting up a valiant attempt at ignoring the looks she was receiving from passers by. "Would you like some grass? And where on Earth did you come from? Zoo? Farm? Local steak house?"
God just shakes his metaphorical head. And sighs.
~FINIS